Those who know me well know that I love alcohol and Latinas. So for years, I’ve been trying to convince my friends to go on an all-inclusive Cabo/Cancun spring break trip…to no avail. Well, a couple years ago, my friend Tom left the States (again) to teach in Korea. Before he left, he promised to come back within a year or he would go with me on a trip of my choosing. Thankfully, he took nearly 2 years to come home. With his promise and with my 30th birthday around the corner, I had enough sway to convince Tom and Eric to take a trip to Belize, and 3 of our other boys (Ursa, Henry, and Ben) to join us in Cancun. 7 days in Belize, 4 days at an all-inclusive resort in Cancun in the midst of spring break. Ah :). Our stories and my thoughts are transcribed below, taken from my trusty travel journal and accompanied with pictures, videos, links, and post-trip commentary. Enjoy.
3/23/17 10:44PM
And here we go…Belize and Cancun. Been waiting and planning for this day for a long time. We have a 5 hour flight to San Salvador, a 1.5 hour flight to Belize City, and the fun begins.
Our gnarly itinerary.
3/24/17 6:52AM
We’re here at San Salvador Airport in El Salvador. What is El Salvador known for? Pupusas, according to Eric. Well, the pupusas at the aeropuerto are terrible. The El Salvadorian cerveza, Pilsener, on the other hand…not bad. We fly for Belize City at 8:45. See you on the other side.
9:55AM
Belize!
12:33PM
On our way to jungle ATV, cave tubing at Nohoch Che’en and unlimited rum punch! 🙂 According to our driver, Rojilio, there are 8 traffic lights in Belize…and none of them work. Traffic works damn well considering that it’s pretty much self regulated.
Bits of information about Belize from Rojilio…
– Liquor of choice – Belizean rum
– National tree – mahogany tree
– National bird – toucan, the Froot Loops bird!
– National animal – tapir, aka mountain cow
Kinda looks like an anteater.
4:42PM
Jungle ATV, much harder than it seems and a lot of fun. Cave tubing, exactly what it seems and mildly fun. Sit in a tube, float through a cave. Takeaway of the day – the Spivo Stick is a terrible selfie stick. What kind of selfie stick doesn’t have a button to take pictures?! Props to them, I fell for their well-made commercial. Surprise of the day – the minty taste of a termite. Yum.
Termite snack.
What we think of the Spivo Stick.
5:45PM
Wondering how many gold medals Belize has won…none. Belize hasn’t even medaled but it sends a handful of athletes to each Olympics.
10:22PM
R.I.P. UCLA. Hard to watch. Better luck next year? Doubt it.
UCLA basketball lost to Kentucky 86-75 in the Sweet 16 and is losing their top 4 scorers this season.
The habanero sauce and spicy pickled vegetables here are no joke. Reminder to err on the side of less for the rest of the trip. Failed miserably.
At Ko-ox han-nah, “let’s go eat” in Mayan. That blue water bottle is filled with tequila.
The xx coming through the headphones to drown out Tom’s snoring. Love their new album.
The xx – I Dare You
I’m on a different kind of high
A rush of blood is not enough
I need my feelings set on fire
Eric is clearly ready.
3/25/17 4:36PM
Spelunking through Actun Tunichil Muknal (ATM, translated to Cave of the Stone Sepulcher) was something else. Cameras aren’t allowed in the cave because tourists in the past dropped cameras and broke skeletons and artifacts. But take my word, the place was damn beautiful.
It took a 45 minute hike through the jungle with a couple river crossings, not easy swimming with shoes, to reach the cave entrance. The water there, a pristine teal with schools of fish. The trek through the cave went along and through river systems, under and over rocks, and through rock slits so narrow that only our necks could pass. Stalagmites grew from the ground and stalactites hung from the ceilings. The journey reached a vast cavern where the Mayans gathered for ceremonies and sacrifices. Here, the stalagmites and stalactites were carved into shapes that cast shadows of animals and gods on cave walls with proper lighting. Pots and skulls were strewn along our path. At the end of the cave, the Crystal Maiden, the skeleton of an adolescent sacrificed to the Mayan gods.
Burn of the trip so far came after our trek through ATM. Tom told one of the kids from our group that the three of us were brothers and asked him to guess who were the oldest. The boy said Eric, followed by me. Tom happily told the kid that it was because he drank from the fountain of youth. My reply, “How many calories are in that fountain of youth?” 😛
6:37PM
The drinks here…I ordered a cherry pop last night and a panty ripper tonight. Pre-gaming for Cancun, right?
Words to live by from Belikin, beer of Belize.
The best tasting beer in Belize though, Lighthouse Lager.
Tom, at his finest.
We’re shuttling out of San Ignacio tomorrow morning, bright and early at 5:45AM, taking a ferry to Caye Caulker, checking in to our Airbnb, and taking another ferry to Ambergris Caye. All for bottomless mimosas. What else would you expect from me? 🙂
3/26/17 10:01PM
Caye Caulker. Caye pronounced Key. British for key as Belize was a British colony called British Honduras before it became an independent country. Saw a stamp of this at our ferry terminal this morning.
Queen Elizabeth is on many of the Belizean coins and bills.
Caye Caulker is chill. “Go slow.” That’s what the natives say here. Reminds me of the Chinese saying, “walk slow”. The other saying here…”No shirt, no shoes, no problem.” Everything’s walkable on the island. Dirt roads, no cars. Just golf carts. A 45 minute ferry ride north of Caye Caulker is Ambergris Caye. Larger and much busier. Roads, cars, a couple resorts, and tons of stores. It has a bit of a Maui feel to it, especially where we went for mimosas.
Mimosas, by the way, were underwhelming but mimosas nonetheless. The champagne to OJ ratio was horribly low and our server refused to add champagne. Terrible service.
Caye Caulker
Ambergris Caye
Mimosas, and the aftermath.
We’re staying at an Airbnb owned by Pam, a woman from Seattle, and built by Kennedy, an African-American native of Belize. They are…friends with benefits who live together? I think so. When Pam moved to Caye Caulker 6 years ago, she was friends with a man who became possessive over her, to the point that she became frightened. Kennedy became a sort of bodyguard for Pam. Kennedy is weird. We met him a couple hours ago. He had Ip Man on, rambled on about martial arts, and shadowboxed us. Might’ve been drunk. Pam and Kennedy live upstairs. Our room, downstairs, is named Sarita’s room, after Kennedy’s only daughter who passed away. Is Pam returning the favor and taking care of Kennedy now?
Our Airbnb
Us, Pam, and Kennedy
Spanky and Tanga
Grocery stores here are all owned and run by the Chinese. There are also a number of Chinese restaurants. Eric looked up this Chinese/Belize relationship and found out that Belize offered citizenship for $25,000 USD in the 1980’s. Chinese immigrants used this as a stepping stone for US citizenship to get around harsher immigration policies against China. When the States caught wind of this and tightened their visa requirements for Belize, some of the Chinese stayed in Belize rather than going back to China. Why do they run all the grocery stores? Tom thinks it’s because all the stuff is made in China, making them easier to freight here. But this has to be related to social interactions. An ethnic group establishes a niche in the economy and makes it easier for future members of the group to succeed in the same industry. Same reason why Indians run convenience stores and why Koreans run dry cleaners.
It’s hot here. And Pam didn’t give us the remote for our AC. Is there an app for that? Yes, but it requires an infrared phone attachment. She’s asking for $12/day to use the AC. I guess we should attempt getting through tonight before asking for it. We’ll cross that bridge tomorrow. Never did, made it without AC.
3/27/17 7:19AM
Happy 30 to me 🙂
6AM workout and Tom is dead. Passed out on the floor in front of the fan. This Airbnb…no AC, horribly low water pressure, hand washing and hang drying our clothes. It’s not what we’re used to but it feels like we’re living and experiencing this Caye Caulker life rather than just traveling here. Full day of snorkeling ahead of us – Shark and Ray Alley, Hol Chan Marine Reserve, and the Coral Gardens.
As we’re walking to the snorkel shop, a guy on his golf cart stops next to us, starts to turn around and says, “Shit.” I ask him what he forgot and he replies, “My virginity.”
9:05PM
Go slow. They really aren’t kidding. It took Tom 10 minutes to get a slice of cake and 25 minutes for a street side burger.
We got back to our Airbnb just in time to hear Kennedy berating Pam. Sounded like he was upset about her talking to other men. Pam must feel like her life is on repeat. I can relate.
By the way, the wifi network here is “pamdingo”. Make of that what you will.
Snorkeling…saw some massive nurse sharks and stingrays. The same rays as the one that killed Steve Irwin, Crocodile Hunter. Stabbed him through the heart with its barb. Of course, they told us this afterwards. We all got nicely sizzled. Hopefully this’ll turn into a beautiful tan by the time Cancun rolls around. All the hard work I put into my Cancun bod, gone in 4 days of vacation.
Tom and Eric are arguing about how much bed they take up at night. Cute.
3/28/17 8:09PM
Tom has literally been singing Moana the entire trip. This song in particular.
Caught a beautiful sunrise this morning. Then went for a short run up and down the island. Is this the beginning of my marathon training?
Saw a 7 foot eel, a hawkbill turtle, and a nurse shark on our dives today. Everything looks blue-green underwater, distorted by the color of the ocean. There are red filters for underwater cameras to correct for this. I wonder how marine life would look with them on.
Like this.
Super early 5:15AM meet time tomorrow for the Blue Hole. This is what we came for.
A sinkhole 43 miles off the coast of Belize, measuring over 300m across and 108m deep.
3/29/17 9:31PM
Made it through a seasickness scare to go on a couple of the most awe-inspiring dives I’ve ever been on. Diving over the edge of the Blue Hole felt like swimming off a cliff into a bottomless pit. The coral from our next dive, Half Moon Caye…it felt like swimming next to mountains. Truly something else.
Looking down the Great Blue Hole.
I went down with 2 pounds of weight on my final dive. Because humans are naturally buoyant, divers wear weight in order to sink and dive. To put this in perspective, Eric used 16 pound and Tom used 12 pounds. No wonder I’m such a bad swimmer.
Quick scare today. Tom took a picture with my GoPro on our last dive, forgot he was holding onto it, and lost it in the ocean. We got onto the boat without the camera. Luckily, a diver behind us, Sam, saw it floating in the ocean and scooped it up. On the boat ride home, a gust of wind blew away Sam’s hat. A diver in the back of the boat caught it with her foot. Coincidence? Or karma? We ran into Sam back on the island and took him out for drinks and dinner. 27 year old lobster fisherman from Maine. Also met Miguel, 21 year old bartender, all 4’10” of him. Generous enough to share some island grass with us. Pretty cool dudes.
This was the calm before the storm. Cancun, tomorrow.
Sam. Found my GoPro, took a selfie.
Last sunset in Belize.
3/30/17 9:43AM, Belize Airport
We fly out at 10:30, board at 10AM. Belize was real. Felt the island vibes from Caye Caulker. Respect.
Looking forward to seeing the guys in Cancun. Happy bachelor party Henry!
10:27AM
This is the smallest plane I’ve ever been on. 6 passengers on this flight along with the pilot and co-pilot. The plane can’t be much longer than 25 feet.
Afternoon
Cancun. Greeted us with champagne and a minibar in our room. We stopped by a cafe, I pointed at a sandwich and they gave it to me. I feel like royalty. Also like a fat kid in a candy store where everything is free.
Riu Palace Las Americas
Ridiculous drinking games at night. We had plans to hit the bars in Cancun but ended up passing out at 10PM.
3/31/17 7:51AM
All the boys are here after Ben got in around midnight. We’re outside the entrance of Chichen Itza, waiting for it to open at 8AM. Our tour guide Jerry, is part Mayan, part Mexican, and 1/4 Cantonese. He calls us primos, cousins in Spanish, not only because he’s a quarter Asian but also because Hispanics and Asians have common ancestors and share physical traits like the shape of our teeth and the presence of a Mongolian spot in infants. Mongolian spot – a perfect purple circle the size of a half dollar, looks like a bruise. In most cases, the spot disappears as the infant grows up. I still have mine on my left butt cheek.
10:15AM
So glad we avoided the crowd and as much of the heat as possible at Chichen Itza. The highlight of our tour was a cold wet towel at the end if it. And learning about the history behind Chichen Itza and the Mayans. Some of the things we saw and learned were almost unbelievable considering that the Mayans lived over 1000 years ago. Mayan civilization began ~2000 B.C. and lasted until ~1500 A.D. The Mayans believed in many gods. They obsessively worshiped one Kukulkan, the feathered serpent (kukul – feathered, kan – serpent) who they believed carried the sun around the earth. His head is at the base of El Castillo (the castle), the most prominent structure at Chichen Itza. There are 4 ramps on each side of the pyramid, 91 steps each, leading to a platform at the top. 91×4 = 364, 364 steps + 1 platform = 365 days a year. The Mayans built El Castillo so that twice a year, each spring and winter solstice, a shadow is cast along the side of the steps resembling the body of Kukulkan. Imagine the math and manpower needed to accomplish this. Unbelievable. So much so that some people, my dad included, truly believe that aliens built El Castillo and Chichen Itza.
Off to the cenotes.
El Castillo with a full-bodied Kulkulcan.
Another amazing thing about El Castillo is that the steps were designed acoustically so that if you clap from a distance, the sound of a bird reverberates. See above.
Cancun. In Mayan, kan – serpent, kun – nest. Nest of snakes.
3:27PM
Cenotes Samula and Ikkil, sinkholes. So, so stunningly beautiful. Samula, an underground cavern lined with stalactites, a clear turquoise pond nestled at the bottom. Ikkil, an open cenote with greenery along its walls, water falling from the top of the sinkhole into the murky green water below. It amazes me what nature can create. And seeing these creations of nature is one of the reasons why I love traveling. These cenotes, the Blue Hole, Jellyfish Lake, Iguazu Falls…the list goes on and on. Such beauty.
Cenote Samula
Cenote Ikkil
At Ikkil, there is a ledge about 30 feet high to jump from into the water. Tom jumped in with his NoPro on his head. Tom bought a knock-off GoPro for this trip and we called it a NoPro. The impact of the water knocked the camera off his head and into the murky water. The lifeguard told us the sinkhole is 12-14 meters deep with very low visibility. He went in with a mask and fins anyway. Found the NoPro hanging on a rock 10 meters down. Lucky Tom. Theme of this trip – “omg lost it…but actually not”. I thought I lost my GoPro in the ocean, Eric thought he lost his wallet 2-3 times, and there were a couple more of these “oh shit” moments.
Lifeguard saved Tom’s NoPro.
With Jerry.
9:53PM
Goodnight Cancun before 10PM. Been feeling slightly under the weather the entire day. I think the alcohol and the sun are finally getting to me. Dehydration setting in. I’m force feeding myself a bottle of water before sleeping. Early day at Isla Mujeres tomorrow and a late night in party corner Cancun. Should be a beautiful shitshow.
12:54PM
Saturday shitshow part 1 – snorkeling and diving at Isla Mujeres. Rough currents. Man, almost the entire boat got seasick. I get back on the boat after the dive and Ben has his head in his heads, Ursa eyes are blank like he’s stoned, Henry’s looking down, the daughter from the other group is hurling over the side of the boat, and the mother is lying down passed out. From our group, everyone except Echang got sick. Ben had it the worst. Ben from the Rocking Dead (we make fun of him for looking like Glenn from the Walking Dead).
Ben and Glenn
Half an hour before our ferry back to Hotel Zone. It feels good to be on land. I’m literally and figuratively sick of the ocean. Time to rest, recover, and get ready for shitshow part 2.
6:52PM
Rested and recovered. Nap was on point and much needed.
PLS&TY – Good Vibes feat. Cosmos & Creature
I’m feeling all the good vibes
I’m getting every green light.
We signed up for a bar/club crawl. $80 a head for entry to 3 venues in party zone Cancun, table service, and all you can drink. 10:30PM-3AM. This was our only night out together in Cancun so we were going to go hard. And we did, for a good hour and a half. By our 2nd stop, we started sitting, the music sounded like monotonous pounding, and the drinks tasted like rubbing alcohol. Half of us went back to the hotel during our last stop, around 2AM. Ursa, Tom, and I rallied. We drank a ton more, stayed till the club closed, wandered the streets of Cancun, drunkenly made new friends, satisfied our drunchies with street tacos, and got back to the hotel around 5:30AM.
4/2/17 5:35AM
And the debauchery is done. I’m still alive, I’m not in jail, not in a hospital, and I didn’t get anyone pregnant. My parents will be proud.
Cancun, I’m not even sure what to say. You are the Mexican Vegas I expected and so much more. I wasn’t prepared. And although I had a ton of fun, I want to do this again and do it bigger.
10:53AM
Vacation withdrawal already setting in.
One last bottomless mimosa brunch, one last (double) shot of tequila. Tom, not amused.
9:31PM
Home sweet home. ToddElly sweet ToddElly.
Elly sweet Elly.
Wanderlust, Wander Lost 